Tuesday, January 12, 2010

爱无国界

I have never turned into God when I deal with relationships. This time, I am so tired, hurt, afraid, confused and struggled. I am so angry about myself, about my blindness and stupidity. I have no power to forget and forgive. I have never experienced anything like this within a relationship and I really don’t know how to cope with it. I know what I have been saying are not from the bottom of my heart but just to make myself feel that it is not a big deal and I don’t care that much. But I know I fell into a big lie and finally I woke up in the dark. I have no way out.

I am just too weak. I have no power to keep myself moving forward. I know I have to consult someone more powerful and sinless. I then opened the bible to seek for answers.

When you are tried:

Because the LORD is my Shepherd, I have everything I need. He lets me rest in the meadow grass and leads me beside the quiet steams. He restores my failing health. He helps me do what honors him the most. Even when walking through the dark valley of death I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me, guarding, guiding all the way. Your goodness and unfailing kindness shall be with me all my life, and afterwards I will live with you forever in your home. (Psalm 23)

When you are hurting:

Since we have such a huge crowd of men of faith watching us from the grandstands, let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up; and let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us.

And have you quite forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you, his child? He said, “My son, don’t be angry when the Lord punishes you. Don’t be discouraged when he has to show you where you are wrong. For when he punishes you, it proves you are really his child.”……Being punished isn’t enjoyable while it is happening – it hurts! But afterwards we can see the result, a quiet growth in grace and character. So take a new grip with your tired hands, stand firm on your shaky legs, and mark our a straight, smooth path for your feet so that those who follow you, though weak and lame, will not fall and hurt themselves, but become strong…….He will sift out everything with solid foundations, so that only unshakable things will be left. (Hebrews 12)

When you need to make a decision:

Never forget to be truthful and kind. Hold these virtues tightly. Write them deep within your heart.

Wisdom is a tree of life to those who eat her fruit; happy is the man who keeps on eating it. Have two goals: wisdom, that is knowing and doing, and common sense. (Proverbs 3)

When the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow. So let it grow, and don’t try to squirm out of your problems. For when your patience is finally in full bloom, then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete. (James 1)

Finally, what is true love?

Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. If you love someone you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.

There are three things that remain --- faith, hope, and love --- and the greatest of these is love.

I typed words by words and reflect myself what I have done wrong. I feel brighter and brighter while typing God’s words. Even though I have read some of them many times, I really have better understanding this time. I still don’t know what in front me and this relationship, but I know that I need to move forward in my life with confidence, with a brand new myself. I just need to believe “as for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is true.”

I cannot change anything but myself, and I can only do it through God’s power.

Finally, I hope God’s words may inspire, help and instruct other people if anyone ever going to walk pass this page.

May God Continue to Bless Us.

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